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The Dreaded First Date


It’s been a while since you’ve gone on a date, let alone a first date! What will you wear? Where will you go? Will your secret single behavior ooze its way out of you embarrassing you both?

Dating is not like a game show and chance is not always on your side.  The mere thought of going on a first date can make one break into a cold sweat. Well, we are here to give you some tips!

We’ve all been there. Perhaps you had a bad breakup or you’ve just been single for a while, like 5 years…First dates can be scary! It’s also the make or break of future dates to come because first impressions really do count. The way I see it, there are 6 things that are necessary for that dazzling first encounter.

Know Thy Date!!!

What’s more complicated than a first date? A blind first date.  I have had 2 blind dates in my life.  Both setup by a “particular friend” and both were total disasters. “He’s a really nice guy” she said.  “He just broke up with his girlfriend” she said. Find out as much as possible about this “nice guy”, if the alarm bells are going off…say no!

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Choose a Neutral, Relaxed Place to Meet

Coffee shops and cafés are really great for breaking the proverbial ice; providing a more relaxed setting to find out more about them, like if they are a bunny boiler. It’s also great to do a breakfast or lunch date, because it’s a lot easier to extricate yourself, citing another appointment. It’s a lot tougher to say you have to check on your sick mum if it’s 10pm. On the other hand if you have a good time, it’s a great start to another date. It may even turn into a dinner and you land up marrying the guy. Like I did.

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Dress Accordingly

What you wear will say a lot about you.  You want to say “I’m fun and easy to get on with”, not I’m easy and that’s fun. Don’t get us wrong, we are all about self-expression, wear what you want, but wear it with confidence, and make sure you are comfortable in your environment, your clothes and yourself.

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Have your own Transport

I learned from bad blind date number 1, that you need to be able to leave if you are not happy. Being a novice to the dating scene, I didn’t know how to deal with this horrible person and in fear of making him angry, I pretended to enjoy myself until he eventually agreed to take me home. I flung the car door open so fast it practically broke the sound barrier; and I ran…like Forest…for the finish line, aka the complex security gate that had cameras and electric fencing.

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Have an Exit Strategy

The same friend that set me up with dodgy guy no.1, set me up with a guy she worked with, who turned out to be dodgy guy no.2! He was so madly in love with HER that he interrogated me for 45 minutes about her. Awkward! But I had a plan – The “Emergency Phone Call”. As it turns out, I felt like a total dog for lying about my Gran who was stuck outside the house, so I strongly advise against it. I should have just said that I could see he was not into me, have a nice life and goodbye. Fortunately his infatuation with my friend meant I didn’t have to worry about trying to get rid of him.  ALWAYS be honest! And always be nice.  Unless they stalk you…

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Be Yourself

Easier said than done as your nerves can get the better of you; making you do silly things; like picking up the phone and dialing a friend when you see your date arrive…  Yes, yours truly indeed did this!  Needless to say when he got to the table I was still on the phone and he thought I was very rude. Thankfully I did not ruin the date, and we later went out to dinner, saw each other the next day… and the next and then a million times more until he asked me to be his wife.

So don’t lose your marbles worrying about your next first date, take the edge off and remember these 6 tips. Cheers to no more fatal encounters and dreaded first dates!

Charlotte Kearsey
About me

Charlotte, also known as Charlie, is a freelance Social Media Architect and Blogger. After nearly 20 years working in the IT and Marketing fields, she now spends her days as a Stay [WORK] at Home Mom and Director of Home Affairs. Fueled by coffee; and with a passion for anything creative and completely random, she hopes to make a difference in the world, albeit small. And she loves rocks and might be a tad ADHD.

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